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January 29, 2026.

Its 10:20 right about now. I finally fucking figured out how to turn the background black, so thats something :). Sorry that this entries so short and lame, im really fucking tired. I didn't sleep much last night, so I feel like shit. I miss my guitar. I ordered a really cool distortion pedal (eyemaster) with a gift card i got for christmas and its the first actual decent pedal ive ever gotten. But since im not at my dads house until friday, I'll just have to wait. Im excited though because I watched a couple videos while I was trying to pick a pedal to buy and it sounded really good. It would probably good for playing Kickback songs. Sometimes I wonder how ill end up in the future. I have a bunch of uncles and aunties that still live in my grandpas house and don't have jobs (one of them works at target) and im scared ill end up like that, especially since im 16 and dont have a job yet. I doubt I really will, its sort of just a feeling I cant shake off. Sometimes I wonder why people expect you to give a fuck about your job and think about it as something beyond a source of income. Sure, odviously if you choose your job or if you went to college or trade school for it youd probably enjoy it, but why would i give a fuck about mcdonalds or shoprite or lidl or whatever? Why would a first job be anything more than a way to make money for me? Sure, im not just applying to this job for money. Ever since I was little I dreamed of being a shoprite employee. I dreamed of helping my boss and my glorious godsend of a company make more money. I dreamed of making shoprite a better place. Fuck off. I still don't know what im gonna do after high school. I got held back once, so I guess that just means I have at extra year to think about it. I'm thinking about going into a trade, mainly welding. It's good money and i'm generally pretty good at doing shit with my hands. Again, sorry for the shit quality of todays entry. If I didn't feel like I was on the brink of falling asleep, it would be a whole lot better. I need to buy more posters, my room at my moms house doesn't have any. My room in my dads house has an old one from when I was younger and thats it. I should probably just be making them myself, but I can't draw for shit unless I spend all day on something. I know alot more about what I hate than what I like. My fucking chromebook internet keeps disconnecting. Goodnight.